What Have I Been Up To?

Well, hello there. I have neglected this blog a little this week. I have good reason. I am writing for a new site and below you will see a link to my first post:

15 Things That Make Raising Girls Hard

Give it a read and let me know what you think. I am trying super hard to impress them, so I’m not sure what we do to for that… but help 🙂

Also I can’t remember if I let you guys know or not, but I did a guest post on the blog below. She is a funny lady, so if you are looking for someone laugh with/at:

Guest Blog: Workout Tips

Last, but not least I wrote some tips about finding your favorite child:

10 Questions to Help You Decide Which Child is Your Favorite

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My Big Tree Children’s Book

My Big Tree Children’s Book

Sometimes having this blog pays off with really neat opportunities. Today is one of those days. A lovely lady named Maria has written a children’s book and she allowed me to read the book to my daughters. I got to review it. If I could go back in time and tell my younger self who adored reading that I was going to get to do something like that– I might not have been so sad about how slow I ran the mile for the physical fitness test. Time travel was not to be back then, but today for you a review of the My Big Tree Children’s book.

Here is my review on this book:

“My Big Tree is a new favorite book at our house. This story has seamlessly woven together a plot including animals, colors, counting, and an important lesson. I read this book with both my four year old and six year old daughters. My six year old was able to read it to me and my four year old enjoyed counting out the characters. I am a sucker for a book that grows with the children to keep them learning.

The message was fantastic. The grass is not always greener, and this was an easy way to help the kids see. The whimsical illustrations perfectly paired with the “voice” in the writing to meld into the perfect story that I will love reading with my kids over and over again.

This book reminded me of my favorite book when I was younger called The Poky Little Puppy’s Counting Book. I loved counting out the different critters and objects in that book to my mom. I saw the same joy from my children when reading this book.

There is no doubt in my mind that this book has earned its place as a favorite in our family and I will be on the look out for additional books from Maria Ashworth to add to our library. ”

Also if you want some more info please click here for a cute little trailer for the book.
Book will go on sale August 9th. Book will be available from the publisher, Amazon, B&N along with brick and mortar. Ask your bookstore to order if not available. 
 A magnetic story board to accompany the book is available at her website. 

Links:

http://www.clearforkpublishing.com

http://www.mariaashworth.com

My Big Tree
My Big Tree Back Cover with a picture of that lovely Author!
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What Did People Even Do Before?

What Did People Even Do Before?

I had a mini panic attack the other day when I went to go pick up my friend and thought I forgot my cell phone. No, it’s not because I realized that I don’t have any friends and I was driving up to a strangers house. How rude of you to assume such things. You’re already forgiven. I can’t stay mad at you.

Why Panic?

I panicked because I didn’t know how I was going to get her to come out to the car without texting her on my cell phone to come out of her house. I am not going to pretend I am a genius because by now you know that isn’t the case. I truly thought “how will she know I am here without the text?” While I placed my hand on the window sadly considering how I could lose a friend from this situation. What did people even do before?

What Did People Even Do Before?
“I forgot my cell phone and my friend is in the house. ” *tear

Other Options Available

I mean sure there are other options when I think about it now. Even so, I would have hated to be that annoying honker that lays on the horn to get someone. I couldn’t walk up to her door like a… like a savage. I could have tried to run the car up to her garage door and lightly tap it like a knock, I suppose. I’ve never been accused of being a natural at driving, or even a good driver. The benefit/cost analysis on that one may not come out in my favor. I have heard you can smoke gophers out of their holes, but that seems extreme to get someone to take them to volleyball.

If I’m being honest, these ideas didn’t even run through my mind. I was absolutely lost at how I could signal her to get out. Technology has stunted my mind. If it has done that to my brain I can only imagine what the rest of you are going through. Scary stuff. Again I ask what did people even do before?

I’m A Survivor (ish)

I fear for my children. If we have an hour long power outage, I picture it coming out like this:  My husband will find us cooking pizza on sticks over our burning couch. The kids will have mud smeared on their faces and sling shots strapped to their belts. I will have made a skirt from leaves and made a hat from a raccoon that I caught in the field 3 blocks away from our house. I may or may not demo three walls of our dwelling. What? I get claustrophobic in these survival situations. All I’m saying is someone check on me if there are any outages. Also check on me if I have a phone… and check on me if I forget my purse. You know what, can we just hire someone to follow me around? It’ll be a load off everyone’s minds.

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Shhh, My Belly Button Is Talking

Shhh, My Belly Button Is Talking

Occasionally I reread old things that I wrote to see if I still stand by them. I find sometimes that I shake my head sheepishly semi embarrassed, sometimes I want to high five myself, and still other times I want to nominate my past self for a Nobel Peace Prize. Below is the definition of an entry that I should have nominated for a Nobel prize. Whatever that process is. Maybe there is still time. Who knows? Please enjoy.

In The Belly of The Beast (me)

Settle a quick marriage dispute. So the other night I’m using my belly button as a pseudo mouth while I practice ventriloquism (like you do when your hanging out at home putting the kids to bed etc.)
Oh wait! Let me back up, that was the meat and potatoes of the dispute. While my belly button is talking to Kerry he looks at me like I’m slightly crazy.
He then says and I quote “I never want to hear you say that anything I say or do is weird.”
As you can imagine I am stunned. First of all he didn’t even acknowledge how far I have come in my ventriloquist practice and second he interrupted my belly button in midsentence. I feel like “speaking” with your belly button is pretty normal and frankly I’m not sure I want to live in a world where this is not ordinary conduct.
Am I wrong about this? Is my whole life a lie? Are there no etiquette books stating that interrupting belly buttons is extremely rude? Kerry seemed to not even notice what a faux pas that was.
I mean in my head I’m like “Hello! Shhh, my belly button is talking. What were you raised by wolves?” If he was raised by wolves, you can see why I would have to let that pass, right?
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My Head Is Stronger

My Head Is Stronger

“My head is stronger,” my four year old says as she pushes her head against mine. I should point out that this is going on while I’m trying to strap her shoes for her. It doesn’t seem to matter to her that I’m assisting her. This is a power play.

The sad part is that her head is stronger. Not in the particular way that she is trying to show me. My neck muscles have had time to toughen up and I didn’t budge when she tried to head butt me to move my head. Reading over that it makes me seem dumb for not moving my head, but trust me when I say in the moment it made sense. I needed that “win” to get me through the day.

Her head is stronger in the way that matters. The way that makes her not back down, even when she is very very very wrong. In the way that makes her cry about the stuffed puppies ears not going down even though they have never been that way to begin with. The way that ends in my safety pinning the dogs ears down for her to take it to show in tell at school. In the way that makes her refuse to let me sing in the car even though I am totally on key. What? Well, OK. But she has no proof that I’m not on key. You are just assuming. You know what that does…

After this head strong exchange I really should have went back to bed. All the signs were there that it was going to be a rough one. Who gets headbutted in the first hour they are up in the morning? A person that needs to go back to bed, and maybe a billy goat. Those are the only two acceptable answers.

We took my six year old to school for the morning. This particular morning my four year old was going to miss her so much. Sure they were punching each other just minutes before? That means nothing. Her heart was breaking now.

I tried to get her in the car to go to her preschool. She was not having it. I picked her up and she cried. Fought and yelled. A truck came to park by us. I have my suspicions they were checking to see if I was taking her. I wanted to assure them that this was my spawn, otherwise I would have peeled out leaving her. This isn’t the first time that we have had concerned onlookers.

We finally get in the car and she wants to fight. The reason for the fight doesn’t matter. It just needs to be a fight. She doesn’t like that I turned to look at her. She doesn’t like that we are taking this way to get to preschool. Yadda, yadda.

Here is where I confess I sunk to a four year old level. I’m not proud of it. A Beyonce song came on the radio. My four year old daughter yelled that she didn’t like the song. I don’t want to lose my Beyhive membership, so she needs to cool it. I am at my wits end.

I left the song on, guys. I left the song on as revenge. I also may or may not have turned it up a notch to prove that I would prevail. I confess I didn’t really care about my Beyhive membership. I didn’t really like the song either, but I turned it up to sing anyway.

Guess my head is stronger today.


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