Catch Me If You Can

Catch Me If You Can

Catch Me If You Can

I’m just being cute. You can catch me. It’s not even that hard. I am referring to my writing work in this particular post, but really it’s the same in literal terms. I am just on the sofa. You wouldn’t even work up a sweat. Tag was never my thing, and look at you… so buff.

I am going to place links below with articles I have written the last month. Please click on them, comment, engage with them if you enjoy them. Heck, even if you hate them go ahead and say it.

Let’s Talk TV

Ok, so I’m freelance writing which has been fun. Also this week I have been watching Breaking Bad. I’m not sure why no one is talking about this show. It’s amazing. Oh, what’s that you say? They were a few years ago when it was new? My bad. I bring up my TV habits to explain why I have slowed down on writing etc this week.

I bring up my TV habits to explain why I have slowed down on writing etc this week. I usually half pay attention to tv the kids are watching while writing/facebooking. Well, this week I discovered Netflix on my phone (not a paid sponsor- but I feel like I should be) and now I watched my show and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory at the same time instead of writing. It was fantastic. Now sure there could have been some confusion. I’m not sure if the Orange singing men were killed off by meth or arrested. They don’t appear in later episodes of breaking bad. I did finally get some insight on the tunnel ride in the Willy Wonka chocolate factory. Meth- it explains that whole scene. I’m on the last season of the show so I’ll be productive again soon. Or like normal level productive. Let’s not think miracles are going to happen.

Stuff To Read by “Me” From Around The Internet

I have noticed lately that my headshot could use some work. If you know anyone that I can use to take a legit picture of me and they can make me look gorgeous… Do Tell.

You can catch me by clicking here.

https://www.parentmap.com/article/pinks-vma-tribute-her-daughters-struggling-self-image-was-beautiful

https://www.parentmap.com/article/should-i-be-a-parent-quiz

https://www.parentmap.com/article/sad-truths-end-summer

The Non-Starters of the Mommy Wars

10 Steps to Winning an Argument With a 3-Year-Old!

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What Have I Been Up To?

Well, hello there. I have neglected this blog a little this week. I have good reason. I am writing for a new site and below you will see a link to my first post:

15 Things That Make Raising Girls Hard

Give it a read and let me know what you think. I am trying super hard to impress them, so I’m not sure what we do to for that… but help 🙂

Also I can’t remember if I let you guys know or not, but I did a guest post on the blog below. She is a funny lady, so if you are looking for someone laugh with/at:

Guest Blog: Workout Tips

Last, but not least I wrote some tips about finding your favorite child:

10 Questions to Help You Decide Which Child is Your Favorite

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Quick Non-work Related Question

Quick Non-work Related Question

“Ok, Dawn. Quick non-work related question. When I’m here, like this far away from you. Do you smell anything?”

“Mandy, again no. I can’t. Did you shower today?”

“Yes, I just feel like I smell. I just had to check. Ya know how sometimes if clothes sit in the washing machine too long. I feel like I smell that. But you don’t get that smell wafting over here when I came by?”

This is a conversation that takes place between me and my coworker/friend probably 4 times a month. I can only assume that she enjoys these exchanges as much as I do.

I might not “enjoy” them as much as I require them to put my mind at ease. And it does put my mind at ease… for a good 5 minutes. And then I think of something else. Does my hair smell funny? Did that new perfume I used react badly with my skin and make me smell. Shoot, I used up my one “ask a friend” now what do I do?

I know. I will run to the bathroom to wash my hands to see if that will help. I mean soap will fix it. Or febreeze. Do I have any febreeze? Nope. Why don’t I ever buy some of that? That seems like it would help in this situation. Well, probably not if it’s my hair that stinks.

Hands washed. Back to my desk. Was that soap a different kind than normal? I feel like it’s a little too much. Does that soap smell a little too smelly? That decidedly didn’t fix the problem.

Hello, my name is Mandy and I am a smellaholic. It’s like an alcoholic, but instead of seeking out alcohol for a fix I seek out fear of my smells. I guess what I mean by that is that it is nothing like alcoholism, but I wanted a name for my problem. I don’t think we should focus on that.

I don’t think I have any incredibly deep seeded smell issues. I wasn’t like the smelly kid growing up. My mom has pointed out several times that I was bathed daily. Ok maybe here is where it stems from. My mom is a neat freak. I know. I know. How original- your problems are due to your mother? No, I’m not admitting that I have a problem. We are not in smellaholics anonymous. I don’t have to admit jack to anyone.

That came off defensive and I apologize. Here is what I want to say about the smell thing. I don’t always think it’s a certain smell which I guess goes to show that it’s just in my head. It’s like the saying if you were crazy, you wouldn’t question if you were crazy. If I smelled would I be questioning how I smelled? I mean don’t answer that unless you are around me and if you are around me, let’s show some decorum. Try to be a little more like Dawn. Don’t play into my phobia.

The one thing you should not do if you have this phobia is to have children. I’ll tell you this from experience. I have a precious little 3 year old that like to complain about my breath to me first thing in the morning. Umm, hello 3 year old do you think yours is better? It is not. Then I came home from work today and she came to cuddle with me. She loudly announced “Awww mommy you breath stinking. You ate at work!” Yes, wee one I did eat at work. I needed sustenance. Do know that word? Oh maybe look it up in your three year old dictionary. It’s under “s” like stinky.

I guess what I’m ending on is that it wasn’t my mother that caused me this problem afterall. I am not a cliché. It is my three year old that has beat me down. In the most adorable way. What a plot twist.

 

 

 

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I Will Make Different Choices

I Will Make Different Choices

Today at work I had an internal auditor sit with me to see what I do. I generally am not good at talking to people (see any post I have in which I have to talk to people for reference), so these things tend to make me a little antsy. I won’t leave you in suspense- everything went fine… “audit” it? (I tried to pun you-relax I don’t win them all) But no, really it did go well- until he left. After he left though, I was so busy patting myself on the back for a job well done that I didn’t have the capacity to also save my file before closing it. In the future I will make different choices which involve delaying the self congratulations until my file has been preserved. This time though, this time was a hard lesson. Or was it?

Long story short- (well is there really a short enough story about accounting/auditing things?) I found a button to revert back to the one I had closed and not saved. My day was saved and I won the work day. I won it! I couldn’t leave this day behind with only one other person knowing that I won at work. Therefore I have brought you into my winners circle to join me. I mean: What is a win if not everyone knows about it? What is charity if you can’t make them name buildings after you? What is voting if you don’t announce your choices to everyone around you? What does love got to do, got to do with it?

 

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Handling Toilet Paper

Handling Toilet Paper

I learned the other day from my three year old that handling the toilet paper was too dangerous for me. I guess if the toilet paper had been used, I would have agreed with her. However the paper was on the roll and sitting right there. With it’s quilted sheets flapping.

She had followed me into the bathroom because well… I think she’s afraid I will be lonely… I guess…? Is that why they do that? I don’t want to digress, but I literally have bruises all over my feet from them standing on top of my feet. Some people would have you believe it is because my feet are like skis. I disagree with those people even though I call one of them dad.

So any ways she grabbed the toilet paper from me and told me it was too dangerous. I said are you sure? because I feel like I have the process down at this point in my life. She gave me a look. I guess I met her approval because she handed it over.

Then she went ahead and took it back from me immediately after use. Put a hair tie around it and told me again it was too dangerous and I shouldn’t be working with that. If I’m not fit to work with toilet paper I’m not sure what I have left to strive towards. It seems that computering might be too much, also operating cars… I might need to forgo the oven… well that one is real – it sets off smoke alarms when I touch it. So many things are above my pay grade now. I guess you could say I feel like I’m not fit to wipe my own ass.

 

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